What happened was that I was diagnosed on June 12, 2020 with moderate depression and moderate anxiety. I then went to another hospital to be re-tested, and my doctor recommended that I be hospitalized, but considering the possible side effects of taking medication, such as mental fogginess, lethargy, or vomiting, I ultimately chose to take a break from school to recuperate at home. I had thought that this would allow my psychological wounds to heal slowly, but this was not the case. No matter where I went, I was always asked about school, which made me feel particularly irritated. From September last year to March this year, although I did not engage in self-harming behavior, my emotions were out of control from time to time and I was completely unmanageable. Then my dad insisted I go back to school, so I did, only to find out it was worse than I thought. It may have been bad enough before, but after a week of school I felt mentally exhausted, and now my emotions are even more difficult to manage, my hair keeps falling out, and I always fantasize that those who look at me are scolding me and are overly concerned about what other people think. New school, new classmates, I know they aren't ostracizing or scolding me, but I just can't help but feel that way and don't want to socialize or study. My dad was convinced that I wasn't sick, so I didn't go for a follow-up. By now, I'm constantly hallucinating, I get uncontrollable pains in various parts of my body, insomnia, nightmares, I'm exhausted, and my dad always says I don't move all day and continues to yell at me, so I really don't know what to do anymore.
Hi owner, I'm Whale Social Worker Koboku. First of all, I would like to give you a warm hug and understand very well how you are feeling right now. From your description, I can see that your current symptoms are somewhat severe and may be more pronounced than before. This is because after these symptoms appeared, you did not continue to take medication or receive treatment, but just took a short break at home and then returned to school, which is actually not conducive to recovery, but rather may make your condition worse. For the current situation, I would recommend that you see a doctor as soon as possible, preferably on medical advice, and consider taking a year off from school or finding another suitable program. The most important thing is to get your mental state in order first and then take your time to deal with school. I wish you all the best! --Small North, Whale Social Worker