As a student studying away from home, I have faced various challenges over time.
Beginning in August 2013, I experienced a series of grim events and a buildup of stress that continues to this day.
For the last half-dozen months or so, I've been feeling tight and stuffy in my chest every day.
Often, I can't help but shed tears.
Always procrastinating on things.
Anxiety follows you around.
My boyfriend loves me very much, but I've never confessed my psychological problems to him.
I do feel happy when I have him with me.
But I would somehow get mad and ignore him over the smallest thing, but I couldn't stand the cold shoulder myself and ended up apologizing carefully.
Lately, I've been feeling confused about the future.
Even had suicidal thoughts.
I have leftover Prozac in my hand from a previous prescription a year and a half ago.
Hi! Sending you a warm hug across the room first. It's great to see you reaching out for help and I hope my sharing gives you some support. It's really brave of you to be aware of the emotional buildup to the brink of losing control and reach out for help.
Awareness is the first step to change, and change requires accepting yourself first. Accept those emotions that occasionally break down due to chronic stress, and then try to ask yourself what you really feel and need inside when your emotions flare up. When you are more aware of your emotions, you will be better able to express them instead of being swayed by them.
Emotions need to be seen and understood. You can try keeping a journal to write down your pent-up pain in words, which is an effective way to release it and can also help you sort out the deeper needs behind your emotions.
If you find that something your boyfriend does makes you feel better, be honest and tell him what you need. At the same time, learn to care for yourself as he does for you, and don't pin your happiness entirely on someone else; that's easy to be disappointed and can stress your boyfriend out.
After all, the person who knows you best is yourself. You long to be treated gently, so start with self-care. As an adult, you have the inner strength to heal yourself.
I'm Lilly Little Ears and the world and I love you.