I truly wish my family would go and talk to a therapist.
I tried various ways to communicate with him, such as gentle guidance, harsh criticism, and even asking friends to help persuade him, but no matter how much I said, he either remained silent or just said "I don't know".
He is now unemployed and used to be in bad shape at work, staying at home all day swiping his cell phone and surfing the Internet, sometimes running to Internet cafes to play games in order to avoid people.
He doesn't ask for money when he doesn't have it and would rather starve. I usually give him pocket money and know roughly when he uses it, so he always waits for me to offer to send money.
I'm afraid he'll starve, so I'll hurry to pay when the time is up.
I'd love to help him, but I have to know what he's thinking first, but he refuses to communicate and I just can't help it.
I think he needs to see a psychiatrist, but he won't admit he has a mental problem, and if I offer to take him, he won't.
What should I do? Is there any way to get him to talk to a therapist? Please call me if there is a way.
Thank you.
Hello, friend! I'm July Whale from Whale Social Work.
After reading your description carefully, I understand that you want to help your loved one very much and want him to communicate with you and face his problems. I do understand your intentions. Maybe you can find a family member or friend he trusts to talk to him and try to understand what he's thinking. It's hard to really help him if you don't know exactly what he wants.
By spending time with him on a daily basis, you may feel that he is behaving abnormally, but I think he may not have been like this before. You can recall if there was a certain turning point, what happened during that time, and work out from the details why his state changed.
He is always playing games online now, which may be his way of escaping from reality and using games to shield himself from the outside world. To help him face reality, you may need to reduce the amount of time he spends playing games, such as controlling the amount of pocket money you give him, so that he goes online less.
Good luck (whale social worker)