My husband and I met and started a business together and built a good foundation. Then the company encountered bottlenecks and needed to transform, but he was reluctant to continue (there were losses in those years), it was I who insisted on running the business. After a few years of hard work, the company transitioned successfully and began to make a profit. And he did all kinds of things outside and friends always lose money, I let him come back to do together, but he was no longer willing, or continue to look for things to do outside (not part-time work). It seems like he's willing to do anything for the people around him, and finds it worthwhile to do it (uncertainty about where he'll work, running around), except for my company, which he doesn't trust enough to get involved in. It's been about 5 or 6 years now, and he hasn't taken a dime from the family, and I'm responsible for all the household expenses, as well as helping him pay off his debts.
He goes out every day and I have no idea where he goes or what he does. Probably doing something unreliable, like health care sales or physical therapy or something like that, but I'm most disgusted by that. So now I don't want to say much, give up and let him be. Besides the work I don't approve of, our lifestyles are getting more and more different, like eating preferences, what we look at on our phones, etc.
Whenever I have time after my company is busy, I recharge my batteries and learn about investment and finance and business management, etc. Instead, he likes to swipe short videos like Jitterbug.
I sometimes despised and disliked this kind of thinking and behavior on his part and I began to have thoughts of divorce.
Honey, let me give you a hug from across the room 🤗.
I can feel your heartache and helplessness. When starting a business together hit a rough patch, your husband chose to quit while you stuck it out and successfully transitioned. Over the past six years, instead of contributing income to the family, he has made you bear all the expenses and debts. Moreover, your hobbies and habits are becoming more and more different.
It sounds like a pipe dream. It's really hard to imagine how you guys have sustained yourselves for six years like this.
It's like two parallel lines, always parallel, no intersection, yet chasing each other non-stop.
You didn't mention children. If there are children, maybe that's a bit of bonding to maintain. I can understand you being all kinds of stoic and accepting for the sake of your kids.
If you don't have children, I suggest you stop in time.
There are two reasons for this:
1. If you still love him, then please fulfill him, not "spoil" him. There is no way a real man would start a business that has been failing for six years, and keep swiping and relying on women to support him and pay off his debts. The reason he is like this is that you allow him to be like this, you spoil him. With your own stoicism and acceptance, you made him lose the responsibility and bearing that a man should have. You have raised him to be a "giant baby". Please "stop loss" for him, let him choose, decide and bear the consequences. That way he can reflect and introspect and really grow when he is in a lot of trouble and in a lot of debt. Doing this now will only keep him from ever knowing introspection. You are doing him a disservice. So if you really love him, please stop the damage for him in time and let him take responsibility for himself.
2. If you are still in love with him, but you are tired and worn out from loving him, then please stop in time for yourself as well. I believe you have been physically and mentally exhausted from starting and managing your business. You may not even be able to love yourself anymore or not capable of loving yourself. And yet you have to take on the capricious behavior of a man. So, if you love yourself, stop the damage for yourself in time. Two people divorcing are not necessarily not in love anymore, they are just stopping the damage in time to keep it from expanding beyond repair.
Of course, the above is just a bit of my analysis based on your limited information. In fact, there may be hidden content behind your information, or your information is biased and unknown. The above is just a bit of communication based on limited information and is for reference only.