Deep down, I've always been reluctant to let others see my weak side.
Of course, everyone is in bad shape at times, but I was afraid of exposing my vulnerability and worrying that people would take advantage of it and hurt me.
Pretending to be strong is really exhausting because I'm already physically and mentally exhausted myself.
Is this considered a psychological problem? I always feel like I'm going to be attacked and feel like people do things without a bottom line.
Hello, dear friend.
A warm hug to you first. Being on high alert all the time must be especially exhausting for you, as you say.
From your description, I can sense some thoughts of persecution. We can try to be aware of it first:
1. When dealing with others, do we always ask ourselves to behave perfectly and not to show any "weakness"? Do we feel anxious and uneasy if we do not perform well?
2. does this anxiety and worry lessen when we do certain things?
3. There is always a feeling of being attacked and that people are not subject to rules.
Can we recall how many times in a day, a week or a month actual situations corroborate this idea?
Over the next period of time, it would be useful to record these events and see how many times we "feel" that something is going to happen and it actually does. By analyzing these records, it will help us to take a more objective view of "being attacked" and "people's unruly" thoughts.
Cognitive-behavioral theory states that it is often irrational beliefs that lead to our negative emotions and reactions. By becoming aware of these beliefs, we can adjust our emotions and coping styles.
4. From what you have shared, I can sense that you are an insecure person. Much of the formation of a sense of security has to do with the way you interacted with your mother as an infant.
We can think about what we are specifically worried about when we are in a vulnerable state. Does this remind us of any scenarios? Are there certain events that trigger certain memories and feelings from our childhood?
If so, try taking deep breaths to relax your emotions and then perceive yourself in the present moment, leaving the memories in the past and bringing yourself back to the reality of the situation.
I hope my answer will help you. ♥️