I don't really know quite how to talk about it and I don't want people to pry into the real world inside me.
These days I always feel particularly anxious, life is joyless and I just want to lie around and do nothing.
For a long time now, I don't rest well every day, and my whole body is in a daze. Sometimes I feel that there is no point in living, and I even want to hurt myself with a knife, or go crazy and smash things. My heart is so suffocated that I always want to cry.
For as long as I can remember, it seems like I've never really been relaxed or happy.
I haven't vented properly either, mostly repressing it or mildly self-harming.
I feel like I'm losing control of the urge to go crazy or self-harm.
Hi friend. I was momentarily speechless and heartbroken when I read your message. Since you are willing to share and are trying to solve the problem, I will give you some advice as a brother. First, you can try to seek professional help for your medication offline. Second, go out more, see the world and divert your attention. If you don't want to go out, it's okay to read novels, play games, or do some aerobic exercise at home. Maybe your mom and dad don't quite understand your behavior because of the different generations and the generation gap. I hope you can understand, they can not read minds, so something must be communicated with them. They are the closest people in the world to you. I also hope you don't hurt yourself, go out more, and talk to your family more. Cheer up, my friend!