When I first came to the field for graduate school, I was especially homesick, and sometimes I couldn't help but cry.
This year, I couldn't go home for New Year's because of the epidemic, and it was especially hard on my heart, and I was on the verge of breaking down.
Am I too dependent on my family and how do I need to adjust?
Hello, friend.
🐋 We are an offline direct store Heartland Counseling Room.
I can especially understand how you feel, it's really easy to feel lonely and lost when you're studying abroad alone and homesick.
I hear you say that it's normal to be uncomfortable when you leave home for the first time since you were a child. In response to your question, I have the following thoughts:
It is usually very common for us to feel out of place when we are studying away from home.
And you mentioned that you cry a lot because of homesickness and even break down because you can't go home, so it's clear that home is a warm haven for you.
I'm wondering if it's just too much of a challenge out there.
I don't know if you've encountered any annoyances at school. A new environment involves unfamiliar relationships and possibly different habits.
Graduate school is no less stressful, whether it's interpersonal or academic or otherwise, and all of these pressures stack up to make it easy to be scared, lonely, and feel like you can't carry the load.
Negativity builds up so much that it naturally breaks down.
On weekends, you can call or video chat with your family or old friends, and the familiar voices can give you a lot of comfort.
It's also important to talk to them more about what's bothering you and listen to their advice;
Intimate relationships affect us throughout our lives. Understanding the way we deal with people can help us build more comfortable relationships that enrich our lives and are good for our mental health.
The relationship we have with our parents or caregivers is called an attachment.
Simply put, "patterns" are the mental responses that the brain is used to.We summarize these patterns from our experiences and use them to predict things, decide how to respond, and what emotions to generate.
🐋 This pattern is triggered when encountering situations that are similar to past attachment situations, influencing our responses.
The anxiety and distress you experience when you leave home may be related to a childhood bond with your parents.Ambivalent Attachment Relationship
Related.If the love and security given by parents is not stable
, we then magnify the need for dependency and are especially upset when we are separated.We may not be able to maintain a healthy distance from our families of origin, and our lives are too deeply intertwined with each other.
If you realize this, think about what you can do or get professional help.
All change begins with awareness, your question is already the first step, go for it, it's a long way to explore yourself, we're here with you.
I hope the above suggestions are useful to you, and if you still have difficulty adjusting yourself, you are welcome to come to Heartland's offline stores to talk to a counselor.
🐋Xinletu is its offline counseling room, there are 7 stores in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and other places, we provide individual counseling and salon activities. Follow "xinletu" public number (ID: xinletu-love) and reply "hello" to receive 22 free intimate relationship psychology classes, you can also directly book a consultation.