When I deal with other people, especially those who are very different from me in terms of life values, such as spending habits, dressing style, etc., I will always be unconsciously cautious, or even actively avoid them because it feels like there is nothing to talk about.
Recently, I've realized that my social circle hasn't expanded at all, but instead it's gotten smaller and smaller because I don't like to reach out to people.
I'm really lost~~~ I need some guidance~~~
Hello, my friend.
When I read your description, I remembered that Mr. Zeng Qifeng, a psychologist I admire, mentioned that our psychological symptoms are actually a kind of inner wisdom. If you care about something in your heart, you will easily be sensitive to similar qualities in others, or have some kind of "radar".
It's easy to focus on certain points, partly because of familiarity, and partly perhaps because you've been limited in the past and haven't had a chance to experience them.
You said you were always careful to avoid those types of people, not initiating contact, and that your circle was getting smaller and smaller.
Think back to your childhood, when you expressed your needs to your significant provider, did you often get no response? Or did the person always reason and dismiss your ideas? Or maybe they focused on material things and ignored you as a person? Any other similar memories?
Your confusion is like a worry, but your call for help is also like a key. The book Self-Care says that when troubles come, think first about what we can do about them.
First of all, in the face of this increasingly cautious and shrinking circle of yourself, try to accept the present you with a calm mind. Say to yourself more often: it's okay, it's good to be like this for now. Maybe you think it's a bit self-defeating, but experiencing the feeling of the low point may be another starting point. Just like playing the game, who is not bloodied after returning to the base to replenish the blood and then start again?
Besides, the world is so big, go and find people who are on the same wavelength as you. If you can't find one for a while, why don't you learn to like yourself and spend time with yourself first?
Today is 525 and the "I Love Me" campaign has been launched, so I recommend you check out the homepage and learn how easy it is to love yourself. Also think about the benefits of a smaller circle, such as more alone time, to experience these advantages, perhaps you will have a new discovery and change.
Come to think of it, I wish you all the best~