Many girls may have experienced such a state: the volume of voice is low when speaking, and things are always careful. People around me often praise me for being gentle and considerate, but in my heart I feel that behind this gentleness lies a lack of self-confidence and self-doubt. I want to be strong, but where do I start?
Hello dear girl! I understand so well your feelings of being careful and soft-voiced, as if I saw myself once. I'm happy to talk with you about this topic and we'll explore it together slowly~
★ Let's talk first
1,Reasons for speaking in a low voice
(1) Does it always seem like speaking up would be impolite or too abrupt?
(2) Or did you develop the habit of whispering from a young age, which continues to this day?
(3) If the habit was formed as a child, could it be related to the family environment? For example, your parents were strict and made you unconsciously suppress your true emotions.
2,Behind Doing Things Carefully
(1) Was the extra care taken because you wanted to be sure?
(2) Or do you take it in stride for fear of being criticized or dismissed if you make a mistake?
In fact, as long as the volume of speech in social occasions does not affect the communication, whispering is a kind of charm; do things carefully and cautiously also shows that you have a strong sense of responsibility. But if you are careful to the degree of fear and trembling, physical and mental exhaustion, then we need to pay attention to it.
★Why is it that "people praise you for your gentleness, but you are"you feel weakness and lack of self-confidence hidden in your gentleness.Not even recognizing yourself"?
1,You said that gentleness hides lack of confidence.Is it because you always used to suppress your needs?Like being afraid to speak your truth, having a hard time refusing people's requests, and always putting others first?
2,Do you not approve of yourself and do you often doubt your abilities or judgment?For example, always feeling inadequate and habitually denying your own efforts?
★How to change step by step and be truly strong?
1. Accept your imperfect self first.No one is perfect and everyone has low self-esteem. Allowing yourself to fall short is the beginning of growth.
2. Learn to be aware of your emotions and face up to your inner needs.You have equal needs and feelings as everyone else. Asking yourself "what do I need right now" is the first step to loving yourself.
3. Courage to express ideas and needs.After you have realized your feelings, try to say them boldly. For example, start practicing with "I hope ......". There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself, whether others accept it or not is a matter for them, and it is our right to express ourselves.
4. Let go of excessive responsibility and learn to say "no".Other people ask for help is ta thing, but you do not have the obligation to say yes every time. If things make you uncomfortable, bravely refuse, which is responsible for their own performance.
5. Rebuild self-confidence through reading.Recommend a few good books: "Identify yourself: beyond the inherent weakness", "the courage to be hated", "low self-esteem and beyond", "nonviolent communication", they can help you understand yourself better.
The above is my sharing, I hope it gives you some inspiration. I am she and would like to grow with you and move forward gently ~ good luck!