I have been married for three years, but my sex life with my wife has never been very harmonious. Then I couldn't hold back for a while and went to a special service, and I couldn't stop.
I feel especially guilty and bitter right now, and I also feel sorry for my wife and the damage I've done to her.
May I ask if this is a psychological problem? What should I do to solve it?
Hi! First of all I would like to say that it is very normal for adults to have sexual desire and needs. If they are not satisfied for a long time, it not only affects the body, but also psychological problems such asIt can easily lead to low self-esteem, depression, irritability, even loss of interest in life, and possibly depression.
A person with chronically unmet sexual needs will either overcompensate by repressing it for too long and become a pornographer, or they will keep repressing themselves and become sexually frigid. Sexual energy is actually an important part of the life force, and suppressing it is like curbing your own vigor. So it's still understandable that you went to a service on a whim when your sex life was not harmonious and your needs were not being met.
But this approach has a greater negative impact, as you now "can not stop", that the usual repression makes you constantly seeking compensation. If you do this, you will feel pain, sin and guilt inside yourself, which is not good for your physical and mental health, and will also damage the relationship between husband and wife.
To solve the problem you have to find the root cause, and I can see that you still have feelings for your wife. Then you need to face the problem of sexual disharmony together.
First of all, I don't know if you guys have been to the hospital for a checkup to see if it's due to a physical cause. If not, I suggest communicating with your wife first and going for a checkup together. If it is a physical problem, cooperate with the doctor for treatment.
Secondly, if there is no physical problem, then it may be that sexual skills need to be improved. This problem is quite common, many people have insufficient sex education, you can learn some skills together, try two-person yoga to stimulate sexual energy, more communication to let each other know how to be more comfortable.
Third, if all of the above are fine, then consider psychological factors. For example, is your wife's concept conservative, unable to let go, have a sense of shame. You can encourage and praise her more.
Sex life and daily life with the same, couples need to communicate more communication, I hope it helps you!